Dysthymia. Fatigue. Irritability. Infertility.
All things I have suffered from for years. All things I never got treated. All things I thought I just needed to get over. Maybe if I changed my lifestyle, I could get back to normal.
Well, I did. I went AIP. I did a detox that supported gut healing and liver cleansing. I tried to work on my mental health and stress levels by getting to bed at the same time, doing yoga, meditating, and not being afraid to take mental health days.
In one month, there were only 4 days I felt better than my normal.
As I hit the one month mark, I fell into a deep depression. I stopped cleaning the house and taking care of myself. I stopped working. I threw myself into researching hormonal imbalances, but there too I hit a wall eventually. Just looking at a book made me want to cry. I knew that I needed to eat clean and de-stress. But it wasn’t doing anything, was it?! Where was the magic 30 day transformation I was promised? Why were my cycles getting worse? I ovulated and had a relatively normal cycle in July during my honeymoon. Why have I returned to an anovulatory state?
And why, why, is this happening to me? I’m 22 years old. One of my books specifically says that in women under the age of 35, “the fix is often stunningly simple.” Stunningly simple, huh? Then why can’t I get off the couch between the depression and fatigue that feed off each other, even though I’ve cut out all “bad” foods and replaced then with vegetables? I’m not using any commercial products. surely my commercial (and therefore not organic) food isn’t making that big of a difference.
I just…I need an answer.